Falling Slowly
by The Uncanny Valley
Summary: AU - It takes a death in the family to bring the family together.
1. Chapter 1

**The Strong Ones**

The mirrored bathroom cabinet was well-stocked with pill bottles of different colours and sizes. A beautiful array of his favorite anti-psychotics, starting with the ones that made him mellow but nauseated, all the way down to those that gave him shivers and made everything look blurred. His gaze shifted to the antidepressants occupying the entire bottom row. He took three of the bottles, skimmed over the labels and then put them back with a barely suppressed sigh.

Closing the cabinet, Gaara leaned his head against the mirror and stared ahead with half-lidded eyes. He was so close to the cool surface that his reflection appeared overlain and out of focus, but the dark circles around his eyes were still easy to make out; especially since they'd gotten a lot darker recently. He needed sleep, desperately needed it. The sleeping pills were in his bedside drawer, five different flavors. The strongest ones would knock him right out, but he didn't like taking them. It never felt like sleeping, like resting, it was always more of a forced blackout that did nothing to restore his energy. But he'd probably have to take them tonight.

'Oi, Gaara!'

He turned on the hot water, reached for the soap and started washing his hands again. His eyes slid shut without him really noticing it, his forehead still pressed against the mirror. The soap slipped out between his fingers, falling down into the sink with a loud clinking and he jumped slightly, straightening up and opening his eyes.

'Dinner's almost ready! I think...'

Gaara picked up the soap and scrubbed his hands, the skin had turned bright red from the heat – and the fact that he'd already washed them three times in a row. He decidedly turned off the water, ignored the pain as he dried his hands with a rough towel, and finally stepped out of the bathroom.

* * *

Naruto was struggling with two frying pans and one pot on the stove, trying his best not to burn anything. 'It should be ready in a minute', he shouted without turning around, reaching for a lid as the sauce started bubbling and painting the wall with red dots. 'Dammit!' The lid, having been lying right next to the hotplate, burned his fingers and clattered to the ground, landing on his bare foot. 'DAMMIT!' Cursing loudly he jumped up and down, trying to rub his fingers and toes at the same time.

Gaara quietly closed the door and walked through the open room to Naruto's side. With an oven mitt he picked up the lid and put it on the pot, taking in the sight on the stove for a minute. 'Why are you making pasta in a frying pan?', he finally asked. Naruto stopped jumping, evasively buried a hand in his blond hair and scratched the back of his head. 'Ah, you see, I started with the sauce, since it takes longer, and I used the pot for that, right? Totally forgot you broke our other pot that day –'

'_You_ broke it.'

'– so when I started with the noodles, I kinda had to improvise, I guess. But it works this way, too, you just can't fit that many noodles in one pan, so I used two, and we'll still probably have more sauce than pasta, I had to stretch it with water after the salt incident. But we can just pretend it's tomato soup. With noodles!' He grinned happily at his roommate who, after another two minutes of staring, just sat down on a stool at the kitchen island.

Naruto continued cooking and burned his fingers a few more times. He talked about one of his sociology professors and the project he had him do, a field study of gender structures in a youth subculture of his choice. 'I was thinking street art', he contemplated while using a scooping iron to get the noodles out of the water. 'But that's gonna be hard, since it's illegal and all. I'd need a good way to contact scene members and have them openly talk about this stuff... And I couldn't really participate in the culture without doing some illegal things myself. I still gotta think about it.'

'Your professor doesn't want you to commit crimes.'

'Painting on a wall isn't a crime! Well, I know it's a crime, but not a crime crime, like, with a victim and all. And I'm not talking graffiti here, these people create real art! Like, paintings on the ground that look all three dimensional if you look at it from a certain angle and stuff. It's really amazing!'

'Is street art even a youth culture?'

Naruto paused briefly, before continuing to fill their plates. 'I guess... But now that you mention it, it seems to be mostly about the art, not about hanging out. At least as far as I know. It's probably not made up of young people only... but then again, you can say that about almost every other subculture.'

He sat on the second stool and started inhaling his tomato soup with noodles, while Gaara flipped through a management book, only occasionally taking a bite. 'I mean, that's kinda the problem with the whole culture thing', Naruto continued with a mouth full of pasta. 'You never really get a clear definition. Or maybe you do, but then there are like, ten thousand exceptions or the definition was only based on a model-reality in the first place... it's maddening sometimes.'

Gaara shot him a look from the corner of his eyes and Naruto hurried to reassuringly wave his hands. 'Don't worry, I'm not changing my subject again. I actually feel quite at home in the social studies.' He swallowed and let out a little laugh. 'Seriously, I don't get how you could stick with economics. It's so... sterile. Inhumane even. Then again, I guess that does fit you.' Gaara ignored his winking roommate and turned back to his pasta. Naruto pointed at him with his fork, grinning widely. 'Exactly what I'm talking about.'

They continued to eat in silence. And while Naruto knew that Gaara was the opposite of chatty, it had been unusually difficult over the past few days to uphold a conversation with him; the silence was starting to creep him out. Eventually, he couldn't bear it anymore. He had long since finished his pasta and finally put both their plates in the sink, since it didn't seem like Gaara would eat any more of it. 'What's up?', he asked conversationally, knowing full well it wasn't that harmless of a question when directed at his roommate.

Said roommate decided to go with a noncommittal noise for an answer, a low, incredibly deep humming from the back of his throat that always had the blonde thinking his stoic friend might have an amazing singing voice. He let warm water run into the sink and turned around to lean on the counter, watching Gaara skim through an article about diversity management. 'You had your job interview yesterday, right? How did it go?', he asked tentatively.

Gaara finally put the book down and looked at him with his usual calm expression. 'They didn't approve of me.'

Naruto furrowed his brow and absentmindedly turned off the water, reached for the dish liquid and began squirting great amounts of it into the sink. 'Sorry, man. What went wrong?'

'My appearance seemed to be the problem. Especially my hair colour', Gaara said calmly, running a hand through his messy, crimson hair.

Naruto gaped at him. 'You're not serious.'

'I am.'

The blonde let out a laugh, sounding more aghast than bemused. 'Wow, are they for real?' Shaking his head in disbelief, he put the bottle of dish liquid away and started scrubbing his plate with a brush. 'Well, you may disregard their opinion, they're jackasses. And don't you dare dye your hair or something.'

'I should cut it at least', Gaara mused, but Naruto turned around and dangerously pointed at him with the foam covered brush, the swift motion creating a rain of soapy water that hit floor, counter and Gaara. 'Don't!', he warned. 'Don't listen to them. If you start listening to them now, you're gonna have to listen to all the other jackasses telling you off, too, and soon you're gonna look and act and be like everyone else!'

Gaara wiped the soap from his forehead, revealing what looked like a light red kanji right below his hairline. 'They didn't like this either', he said tonelessly, and continued before Naruto could start breathing fire: 'They thought it was a tattoo.'

'Even if it was!', Naruto replied angrily, going back to cleaning the plates, his rough motions proof of his rage. 'So what? Have they never seen a tattoo before? Don't tell me, they gave you crap about the eyeliner, too, didn't they? Because yeah, young people nowadays, getting tattoos and wearing make-up and having red hair, they're gonna be the end of us! Man, it's just a stupid office job for crying out loud. You know, I think this might even be some form of harassment. You could sue them!' He reached for the towel, only to find Gaara looking at him with the faintest amount of humor in his eyes. 'What?'

The notion vanished quickly as Gaara got up to turn on the water boiler, then grabbing a cup and teabag from the cupboard. 'My father died last week', he admitted quietly in that patented, monotonous voice of his, making it a point not to look at Naruto. 'There was a death notice in the paper.'

Naruto went eerily silent for a moment, drying the plates and watching Gaara prepare his tea. 'Are you okay?', he finally asked.

Gaara said nothing and stared straight ahead. Anyone else might have mistaken the redhead's silence as a plain attempt to avoid the question, but Naruto knew better by now. Gaara rarely ignored or avoided his questions, it just sometimes took him a while to come up with an answer; especially when it was his own state of mind that was being sought after. It took him almost five minutes of silent contemplation this time. 'I might be despondent', he reluctantly confessed. 'I'm not sure why.'

Naruto carefully sat down again, eyes trained on Gaara and hands thoughtfully roaming over the counter top. 'Okay', he began. 'You haven't seen your father since you were a kid, right? So maybe you regret never getting to know him?'

'No. I don't wish to know him.'

'Alright. Maybe... I mean, could it be that on some level, you did still care about him? And now you're just sad he died?'

'No.'

'Are you sure? Because he _was_ your father and –'

'I am sure.' He took a sip of his tea and then shook his head. 'Talking to you will not help.' Naruto helplessly raised his shoulders. 'I'm sorry, I'm trying. It's just... I'm sorry. I don't know anything about your father. If you told me what happened –'

'I have to study.' With that, he got up, took his cup and left the kitchen, shutting the door to his room behind him.

Now _this _was him avoiding the question.

Sighing, Naruto rubbed his forehead. For a second, he considered following Gaara into his room and trying to help him through this – but then he remembered this was _Gaara_ and he would most likely kill him if he did that. So he just went back to washing the dishes, all the while keeping an ear out for his friend. Just in case he asked for help.

* * *

They'd met in freshman year. Naruto had, for lack of any better idea, started studying economics and was drowning since basically the very first lecture. But he was actually trying to prove everyone wrong, to show up all those people telling him he wasn't cut out for college; he would do this right. So instead of lounging in the last row with his friends, like he had done in school every day, he showed up fifteen minutes early for the first tutorial, bent on picking a seat in the front row.

Only that Gaara had arrived even earlier and was sitting in the middle row. Naruto being Naruto, he of course sat down next to him, thinking that everything else would have just been mean. He found him intimidating though, this stoic, slightly creepy redhead with the dead eyes, who was already being speculated about around campus, despite it being only the first week. While he was sitting there, trying to talk to a person who was only giving him nonverbal or noncommittal answers, he actually found himself praying for the damn professor to show up. Even as the room slowly filled with other students, his seatmate's aura kept everyone at bay. Nobody wanted to sit near them, and when every seat but the ones right next to them were taken, none of the people forced to sit there wanted to talk to them either.

But then, halfway through the tutorial, when Naruto was desperately trying to follow the professor's explanation and was completely screwing up his notes, Gaara suddenly pushed his own, neatly arranged notes over to him. The way he was very pointedly not looking at him while doing so convinced Naruto that he'd done it on purpose. And in Naruto's opinion, that's when they became friends.

Gaara would deny it, of course. For some reason, Naruto always had people denying their friendship with him at first, which was a little weird, but he didn't let it bother him anymore. He sat next to Gaara in every lecture and tutorial they shared, always stopped to talk to him when they met on campus and often followed him to the coffee shop or library after a lecture; all along ignoring the increasingly annoyed glares being thrown his way, as well as the advice of his other new friends to stay away from this one.

They went so far as to sit him down for an intervention after the famous hug incident. When Gaara had actually _invited_ him to tag along to the library one day, Naruto had been so delighted by the breach of their usual protocol that, without thinking, he'd gone in for a playful hug.

Gaara had headbutted him. Hard.

So hard even, they'd both ended up on the floor, blood running down their foreheads and dizzily trying to orientate themselves. Instead of seeing it as proof for the rumors that his friend was a violent sociopath, Naruto chose to take it as a mere establishing of boundaries between them. He'd wiped the blood away, gotten on his feet and grinned at the glaring redhead. 'Alright then, no hugs. Jeez!' And they'd continued walking to the library together. That was when Gaara, too, begrudgingly admitted to having become friends.

People eventually got used to the sight of them together, so that after a while, they started talking to Naruto even though Gaara was there. After another while, some even dared to address Gaara directly. Suddenly, Naruto's friends would greet him, too, even when Naruto wasn't with him. And by the end of the first semester, they actually considered Gaara their friend.

So when Naruto failed all of his exams for the second time and had to drop out of university, at the same time losing his job and, by extension, his apartment, Gaara didn't think twice about letting him stay with him. Not even Naruto did; he just waltzed into Gaara's apartment with all his luggage, claimed the sofa bed and started complaining about his life. Gaara expected him to stay for a few months tops, until he found another job. But even when he started waiting tables again, he didn't make enough money to support himself. So Gaara cleaned out one of the two bedrooms that he'd been using as a study room and made it Naruto's room. He had more than enough money for the both of them and never asked for rent. Naruto never offered either, but instead started to do the laundry, shopping, cooking and cleaning, until he was teased by all his friends for being Gaara's housewife. It didn't bother either of them. When Naruto decided to give college another try and enrolled in sociology, the option to move back into the dormitory never even occurred to him. Everything seemed fine the way it was.

The first time Naruto had seen the contents of the bathroom cabinet, he hadn't been that surprised. Contrary to popular belief, he was not completely oblivious; he knew there was something wrong with his best friend. One of their friends, Sakura, was studying medicine and she had suggested it might be Asperger's syndrome, which seemed plausible enough and they'd all come to accept it as fact. However, it was the sheer amount of pills Gaara took every day that had alerted Naruto. He didn't really know what the majority was for, most of them he couldn't even pronounce, but he at least recognized the antidepressants – he'd had some experience with those himself. And since they were living together, it was also hard to miss that his roommate barely ever slept. After seeing him without his eyeliner for the first time and realizing that the skin around his eyes was almost as black as the make-up, he'd even dared to ask about it; naturally, he hadn't gotten much of an answer.

And now his father was dead. Never had Gaara voluntarily offered any information about his family. For him to actually confide in Naruto like this and admit to feeling down was more of a red light than any medication could ever be. Naruto couldn't help but listen to any sounds from Gaara's room almost all night long, not even really knowing what he was listening for. He just knew that something was seriously off, had been for quite a while now, and for Gaara's sake, he really wanted to be around when it all came crashing down.

* * *

Gaara had decided to go another night without the strong sleeping pills. He'd taken the second strongest instead, which usually made him drift off in a matter of minutes and sleep for at least five hours. But of course, it hadn't worked this night.

He was sitting in the lecture hall, eyes drooping and head bent over until his nose touched the keyboard. He'd barely managed the past six lectures, but now it was getting dark already and he was exhausted. Luckily he shared this lecture with about three hundred other students and no one expected him to do anything. He couldn't sit up straight, for when he tried, his neck suddenly seemed to lose all stability and his head would go lolling from one side to the other. It felt ridiculous, but he couldn't help it, so he rested his head on the laptop. Some girls next to him were giggling and he would have glared at them, hadn't that required turning his head in their direction.

They stopped being amused when the lecture ended and he still didn't get up, effectively blocking their way to the closest exit. 'Excuse me? Are you gonna let us through?', one of them finally asked annoyed.

'No', he curtly replied, his voice a tad more dangerous than he had intended. The girls huffed indignantly, turning around and going the long way, whispering insults. He closed his eyes, still not sleeping, just unable to move.

'Gaara? You alright?', someone asked a few minutes later.

'Is he asleep?'

'I think so.' A hand touched his shoulder and Gaara sat up with a start, making the person next to him jump a little. He heard a familiar giggle and looked up to find Sakura, Shikamaru, Kiba and Chouji standing next to his seat. He must have looked at them with a very dumbfounded expression, for Kiba and Sakura burst out laughing, even the always kind Chouji was chuckling a little. 'That's usually my thing, sleeping in class', Shikamaru joked truthfully. The pink haired Sakura pointed at Gaara, still laughing. 'Ah, you got some marks on your forehead. From the keyboard.' - 'It's an R and a T, I think', Kiba added helpfully, wolfish grin in place.

Gaara reached up in a halfhearted attempt to comb the hair over his forehead with his fingers, but he didn't really care that much. He was still a little confused as to what Naruto's friends were even doing here. Chouji, always the considerate one, seemed to notice. 'You guys invited us for today', he reminded him. 'You were supposed to drive us, so we waited outside. We came in to check when you didn't show.'

'Pizza's getting cold, by the way', Shikamaru added, demonstratively lifting up the giant pizza cartons he was carrying.

Right, Gaara remembered. Naruto had told him this morning, basically already out the door, that he'd have to pick up 'the guys' after classes, since except for Naruto himself, they all finished at the same time today. Grunting, Gaara forced himself to get up, packed his things and started walking towards the parking lot, the others tagging along and chatting.

'Really, you can't blame a man for falling asleep. I slept through five of my lectures today.'

'That's not really a surprise with you', Sakura deadpanned. 'I wish I could afford to just nod off like that, but if I don't pay attention one hundred percent of the time –'

'That's what we get for studying medicine', Kiba interrupted with a shrug and Sakura, with pretended condescension, replied: 'Well, you're in veterinary medicine. That's not _real _medicine.'

'It's not about the subject', Chouji interfered, before Kiba could say anything else. 'Physics is very hard, but Shika can sleep through it because he's so smart.'

'Oh, so we're stupid now?'

'No, that's not what I meant...'

'Sure sounded like that, Chouji. Since when are you one to insult your friends like that?'

'I'm not! I didn't mean... That's not what I was saying!'

'Chouji', Shikamaru said calmly. 'They're just teasing.'

Gaara covertly rubbed his temples, trying to ignore the bickering behind his back. They were always like that and he'd mostly gotten used to it, but today they suddenly seemed a lot more annoying than usual. He stopped when he reached his anthracite SUV and started looking for his keys.

'I'll never get tired of this car', Kiba said, walking around and inspecting it with the habitual envy on his face. 'It's the coolest thing ever.'

Gaara finally got a hold of his keys and unlocked the doors, everyone immediately piling into their usual seats. Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji got in the back with Shikamaru in the middle. Sakura normally drove shotgun, but today Gaara held out the keys to her. 'You drive', he said as he got in. 'I'm tired.'

He could literally feel everyone gaping at him. Gaara never let anyone drive his car because, well, it was the coolest thing ever. And he didn't like giving other people control over his belongings. But he could barely keep his eyes open and his legs felt so weak, even the short walk to the parking lot had almost been too much. He let himself fall into the passenger's seat, leaned back and closed his eyes, ignoring Sakura's concerned look as she got in and started the engine.

It was completely silent for the first few minutes, everyone apparently trying to wrap their heads around the situation. Then, Kiba let out a dissatisfied grumble. 'You know, I've been bugging you for years to let me drive your car!'

'Maybe that's why he doesn't let you. Because you're annoying', Shikamaru answered with a yawn.

'Sakura is the most responsible driver out of all of us', Chouji explained unnecessarily. 'I failed my test three times.'

'Y'know, whatever, I'm a good driver! Gaara, seriously, just one ride, please? I swear I'll be really, really careful!'

'Shut up and fasten your seatbelts', Sakura instructed harshly. 'Gaara, are you okay? You're not getting sick, are you?' If she didn't make it a strict rule to keep both hands on the wheel while driving, she would have reached out to feel his temperature. She was one of the very few people who regularly ignored his aversion to physical contact and Gaara had kind of gotten used to it over the years. He mostly calmed himself down by thinking that she was going to be a doctor. It was alright to be touched by a doctor. 'I don't think I'm getting sick', he answered truthfully, not finding the energy to open his eyes again.

'Just not getting much sleep, hm?', Kiba nodded knowingly. 'Same with me, exams are coming up and I'm studying, like, all night.'

'Didn't you go to three parties last week?', Shikamaru inquired with a grin. 'And two this week?'

'Alright, so I party all night. Still means I'm not getting much sleep.'

Gaara tried listening to them for a while, but their voices kept becoming distorted and unintelligible, until realization hit him: He was actually falling asleep. If he was lucky, the ride would take about twenty minutes, maybe more when they hit all the red lights. That was better than nothing.

* * *

He hadn't considered how hard it would be to wake up. Once the pills had done their work, not even the loudest noises could really rip him from the grips of sleep again until the effect wore off. So even though Sakura was shaking him roughly, going so far as to slap his face, he couldn't open his eyes. He wasn't really sleeping anymore, he could hear them frantically talk to him and each other, could feel her hands on his neck – was she checking his pulse? He tried talking, but his jaw and tongue wouldn't move, so he just managed an inscrutable little noise.

There was movement and several more hands holding on to him, a warm body on both sides and arms around his shoulders, way more bodily contact than he was comfortable with. But he was so beautifully sleepy that he didn't mind that much. It seemed to him he was half walking, half being carried somewhere, and then a smell hit him. Nothing in particular, really, not a smell he could describe or whose components he could make out. He just knew it was the smell of home, of his room, and this soft thing under his head was a pillow. With a content sigh, he stopped trying to wake up and just let his mind drift away.

* * *

Gaara woke up with a start, instantly aware of his surroundings. He checked his alarm clock, it was half past nine in the evening. He must have fallen asleep around six o'clock, so that wasn't too bad; less than the pills usually gave him, but at least he'd finally slept. He could hear Naruto and his friends talking in the living room over the sound of a movie. For a moment, he debated whether or not he should join them – they were bound to have questions about him falling asleep like that. But Naruto had taught him that it was impolite to hide in his room when there were guests, so he quickly changed from his jeans and shirt into more comfortable loose pants and a hoodie, before quietly leaving his room.

Sakura, Shikamaru and Naruto were sitting on the sofa, Kiba and Chouji on the floor next to them. When Gaara entered, Naruto was the first to notice him. 'Gaara!' With a bright smile, he waved him over. 'Sleep well? Want some pizza? There is still some pepperoni left.'

It quieted down while Gaara got himself a piece of cold pizza and sat down next to Chouji. He felt their eyes shift from the TV to him for a second, then back. People often didn't know if they should avoid his gaze or openly stare at him, so he was used to this and just started eating. The movie was some kind of action flick he had seen before, with a famous actor whose name he could never remember, but he liked the explosions and gun fights. The others started talking among each other again, exchanging anecdotes and unimportant details of their lives. Even when they weren't looking at him, Gaara could feel their eyes burning into his skin.

At some point, Chouji turned to him, his face full of sadness and sympathy. Gaara stared at him when he leaned uncomfortably close, since Chouji had always been one of those who respected his personal space. 'We didn't know about your dad', he said apologetically with big, teary eyes looking directly into his. 'I am so, so sorry.'

When Gaara looked up, he saw Kiba and Shikamaru staring intently at the TV, obviously listening, while Sakura and Naruto met his gaze, Sakura with tragic compassion. He locked his eyes with Naruto's. 'You told them.' His roommate stared at him like a dear in the headlights, then nodded reluctantly.

Gaara let his half-finished pizza fall to the ground and got up. For a second, he just stared at them, hands balled into fists by his side. Then he turned around, walked back into his room and loudly shut the door.

He opened his bedside drawer and rummaged around for a while before finding the strong pills. Swallowing two of them dry, he sat back on the bed, breathing heavily and shaking a little. It didn't even take a minute until he felt his muscles relax. He fell backwards, fast asleep before his head even hit the pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Coffee**

'Other than a brilliant businessman, Sabaku was also an extraordinary example of the compassionate human being. Never did he turn away from a fellow man in need and he was always willing to provide good advice – or, if needed, a shoulder to cry on.'

Kankuro rubbed his eyes in frustration. 'God, make him stop talking', he hissed quietly between his teeth. His older sister Temari gave him a shove to the shoulder, followed by a discerning look. 'Stop acting like a child', she demanded just as quietly. 'You don't have to listen to him.'

'Kinda hard when someone's that annoying' Kankuro grumbled, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at the man standing in front of his father's grave.

'We part ways with him today in the knowledge that his immortal soul found the path it was meant to take. The knowledge that we will meet him again in a better place –'

'Great, now he's getting all churchy on our asses', Kankuro groaned.

'Well, he is a... church... guy. What is he again? A minister?'

'How the hell should I know? I don't do church. And I don't do funeral. When is this over?'

'Stop talking already. He can see you!'

'You're talking, too. You're talking right now!'

'Because you're talking! Just shut up or at least have the decency to look sad, so he can think you're talking about your grief. Or whatever.'

Kankuro snorted and looked away. The crowd was big, of course. His father had been one of the great ones, a businessman without compare, the head of a company with connections all over the entire world. So naturally, he'd been an ass. None of the people attending this funeral actually gave a crap about him, including him and Temari. But maybe it was a little bittersweet, being here, watching the body of their only relative being lowered into the ground.

He'd been to only two other funerals in his life. The first one, his mother's, he had no recollection of, absolutely none. Temari had told him about the many people that had been there, how some of them had been crying – even their father. He still wasn't sure he believed her.

The second one, he remembered perfectly. It had only been them and their father. Nobody had said anything, there hadn't been any prayers or ministers. Just them and a tiny coffin disappearing into the earth late at night. Kankuro remembered howling his eyes out the entire time, and being berated for it by his father later on.

Great, thinking about that was actually making him emotional now. He crossed his arms and frowned at his feet, shuffling around a little and inconspicuously checking his watch. This was taking forever!

The weather was a little crisp, but not so cold that he had to wear a coat. He had taken off his blazer and slung it over his arm though, because he didn't like wearing the damn thing. Temari had even made him put on his only tie, it was way too tight and fluttering around in the wind, annoying the crap out of him. He turned a little so the wind was coming at him from behind and the tie would stop flapping at his face. It was a good opportunity to let his eyes wander over the crowd, seeing whom he recognized. Most of them he didn't know, even those he'd seen before he'd never talked to. They were businesspeople, carrying around briefcases, wearing suits and ties every day, managing their firms and subordinates. Scoffing, he turned around a little further.

Between all the black suits and dark, short haircuts, there was a sudden shock of crimson red. Kankuro froze, looking at the tiny blotch of colour a few feet behind the masses of people. He closed his eyes, rubbing them strongly, until little lights were ghosting about behind his eyelids. The crowd was set in lazy motion as the minister or whatever finished his speech, people walked up to the coffin and started throwing stuff at it. Kankuro opened his eyes and got up on his tiptoes, but the red was gone.

Temari elbowed him into the ribs and he turned to her, slapping her arm away. 'Come on', she urged him. 'It's almost over.' Nodding, he followed her to the hole in the ground, got a scoop of earth and threw it on top of the coffin. Temari and him stood to the side after that, watching other people do the same and shaking their hands afterward, thanking them for their condolences.

Kankuro could tell that his sister was watching him apprehensively and he would have rolled his eyes if he wasn't pretending to be grieving right now. It was annoying how well she could read him.

'Are you okay?', she asked, a hint of disbelief in her voice when they were done and slowly started to walk away. 'You seem a little blue all of a sudden.'

'Aah, it's nothing.' He grinned, winking at her with his right eye like he often did, but he could see she didn't buy it. Sighing, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trousers, kicking a broken twig away with his cheap black shoes. 'This is stupid', he mumbled, tilting his head back and taking a deep breath. 'I guess this whole thing is screwing with my head or something.'

She was still looking at him, clear concern now edged into her sharp features. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes again. 'I thought I saw Gaara', he confessed quietly. Temari stopped walking, staring at him, and Kankuro looked down at the ground. With a strained laugh, he half turned to her, running both hands through his messy brown hair. 'Told you it was stupid.'

Temari walked up to him again and put a hand on his back, rubbing soothingly in a rare display of affection. He caught her other hand and squeezed it briefly. After a second, they both let their hands fall away, looked to the side and started walking again.

When they left the cemetery, they both breathed a sigh of relief. 'Well, thank God that's over!', Temari said with false cheerfulness, looking around and then heading for the next bus stop. They walked past a dark anthracite SUV and Kankuro slowed down a little to take a look at it. 'Cool ride', he murmured with an approving nod, before turning to rush after Temari.

'Thank you', a low, sonorous voice said behind him.

* * *

Gaara hadn't really talked to Naruto or his friends since the day of the strong pills. Not that he talked much in the first place, but at some point after meeting Naruto, he had actually started to at least try. It was somehow a relief to revert back to his old ways of ignoring everyone.

He also hadn't taken any more sleeping pills since that day, when he had knocked down twice the normal dosage and slept for fifty hours straight. It had made him miss some important classes and he'd felt lightheaded and nauseated for the entire week. He was not going to do that again anytime soon, so instead he'd raised his dosage of antidepressants and mood stabilizers. They numbed down those weird feelings he'd been having and he was able to catch a few hours of sleep every night without any further medication.

Of course, since he didn't talk to anyone anymore, nobody knew about the funeral. He had spent much of his free time last week thinking about it, contemplating whether or not he should go. Gaara's father had paid him a considerable amount of money each year so he would stay out of his life, and it was safe to assume he wouldn't have appreciated his presence at his funeral. Every time Gaara had caught himself following such a train of thought though, he'd immediately berated himself for even caring about the man's possible wishes. He was dead now. Any deal he might or might not have made with him had been effectively nullified by his death.

He wasn't sure what good it would do, going to the cemetery and watching his father's coffin being buried. It was a pointless ritual anyway, needlessly expensive and varnished by inane religious traditions. He couldn't even remember making a decision about the matter; he just suddenly found himself driving to his hometown, strangely detached from the situation and just blindly accepting it. His body was slowly, heavily moving on its own and his mind was too drugged to care. It was like he was leaning back, looking out his own eyes as if through a window and just watching, seeing the world around him turn without having to fear any consequences of his actions.

There was no reason for him to mingle with the other attendants. He kept to himself in the background, watching the funeral from under a tree a few feet away. The minister's words didn't reach him back there and he found himself being oddly curious as to what exactly he was saying. What was there to say about the man whose eyes had always been just as empty as Gaara's?

When the crowd started clearing away, he stood still for a while, not sure what to do. The last two mourners were on their way to the exit, walking slowly and talking to each other. With a start, Gaara turned away from the fresh grave and followed them.

The two stopped at one point and were generally moving at a very slow pace, so by the time they reached the gate, he'd almost caught up to them. For some reason, he suddenly thought them to be different from the other people he'd just seen mourning his father's death. The man's suit looked cheap and worn out for a change, and the woman's sandy blond hair was neglectfully pulled back into four messy ponytails, as if she couldn't be bothered with a comb in the morning. It was a stark contrast to the neatly styled businessmen and -women he'd seen before.

Gaara always moved very quietly. He wasn't purposefully trying to sneak up on people, like Naruto had often accused him of doing, it just kind of happened. So it was no surprise to him that the man in the cheap suit hadn't noticed him yet, even though Gaara was standing right behind him, waiting for him to get out of the way so he could reach his car. 'Cool ride', he heard the man mumble to himself, and even though he hadn't seen Gaara and didn't know it was his car, he had basically just complimented him. So Gaara said 'Thank you'.

The man turned around so fast, he nearly lost his balance. His dark eyes widened and his jaw slackened as he saw him, a reaction that Gaara knew well enough – his unusual looks and sudden appearance often confounded people like that. He briefly wondered if maybe he'd breached some kind of social protocol by speaking up, for this man seemed especially horrified, but he didn't care enough to try and figure out how to apologise. With a curt nod he walked past the man and took out his keys.

Just as he was about to open the door, a hand shot forward and firmly grabbed his elbow. Gaara felt a brutal rush of adrenaline surge through his veins, pulling his mind half way out of the fog it had been drifting in the entire day. His jaw clenched shut and he let go of the keys. By the time they hit the ground, he'd already violently twisted his arm out of the other's hold and shoved the man up against the car, then spun around and grabbed the stranger's throat. He could hear himself growling dangerously, teeth bared and eyes trained intently on his shocked captive. 'Gaara', the man suddenly gasped, voice full of panic and desperation. Gaara could feel his Adam's apple manically jumping up and down under his palm and he leaned against the stranger with all his weight, pressing his thump and index finger down hard, almost completely blocking the airway.

'Kankuro!', someone shouted from further down the road, the sound of hastily approaching footsteps following. The voice stirred something inside Gaara, slowing down the blood rushing through his ears and snapping him back to full consciousness. He instantly released the coughing, gasping man and took a step back, right before the woman reached them and protectively put her arms around her companion. 'God, are you alright?' Eyes still trained on him, she turned in Gaara's direction. 'What the hell is the matter with –'

All her anger dripped away and was replaced by stunned recognition as she laid eyes on him. Gaara took a deep breath through the nose, calming his still tensed up muscles, and folded his arms. 'Sorry.' He suddenly felt wary of them. The tall, brunet man was still trying to catch his breath, hands resting on his slightly bent knees, while the woman was stroking his back and looking at Gaara with so many emotions swirling in her eyes, he got a headache just by watching her. He abruptly averted his gaze and got to the ground to pick up his keys.

As he rose again, the woman carefully came closer to him. 'My God', she whispered. 'It's you, isn't it? Gaara?'

'I don't know you', Gaara replied, his tone even despite a nagging feeling of not getting enough air distracting him. 'Please leave. You are blocking my car.'

'It's us!', the man wheezed desperately. 'Kankuro and Temari, your siblings!'

Gaara stared, his head spinning. The pair's odd behaviour slowly began to make more sense to him. He did have siblings, he just hadn't thought of the fact that they'd most likely be at the funeral, too. 'Right', he mumbled, bringing up a hand to rub his forehead. 'I apologise for assaulting you. Now leave.' He opened the car remotely and got ready to push his siblings aside by just wrenching open the door, but Kankuro frantically leaped in front of him, arms held up with the palms of his hands turned Gaara's way. 'No, no, no, don't!' Gaara stopped, endlessly confused by the mortal fear the brunet displayed of him leaving.

Kankuro swallowed, staring at him wide-eyed and flustered. 'How is this possible?', he croaked. 'How are you still alive?'

'I don't understand', Gaara said, clenching his fists, not remembering when he had ever felt so insecure. Temari stepped forward, hands also raised in his direction, as if she was going to touch him. He watched her apprehensively as she spoke with a trembling voice. 'We thought you were dead. When we were little... when you were seven, father told us you'd died.' She swallowed hard, coming even closer, but still not quite in reach. 'It _is_ you, isn't it?', she repeated, this time with a hint of doubt.

Gaara hesitated. The more he looked at those two people, the more he seemed to recognize them. He didn't recall much of his childhood, of the time before things changed, but he faintly remembered a blond girl and a tall boy living with him. Still, his memory was fuzzy and not to be trusted. How could he know that this was not just some elaborate ploy?

Resolutely, he waved away his insecurity and straightened up. 'Show me your identifications.'

They gaped at him in confusion. 'What?'

'There is no other way to be sure.' He pulled out his wallet and retrieved his own ID, not showing it to them yet. For a moment, they didn't seem to understand he was being serious, but then they followed his lead and produced their identification cards.

They all turned around their IDs at the same time. Gaara quickly checked both their names, Temari Sabaku and Kankuro Sabaku, then looked over the cards themselves; they seemed valid.

When he looked up, he was surprised to find Temari clinging to her brother's arm as if to a life line and Kankuro crying silently. Neither of them seemed to be able to take their eyes off of Gaara's name. Puzzled, he let them look for a while longer, before slowly putting the card away again. Their eyes raised to meet his, frightening him in their intensity. 'Gaara', Kankuro breathed and stepped up a little, but Temari almost seemed like she suddenly woke from a dream; she held out her arm between the brothers and shot Kankuro a warning look. His face fell quickly, he turned away and wiped his eyes, sobering up as well.

When he looked at Gaara again, there was a confident grin playing around his lips. 'So, Gaara.' He sounded a lot less emotional this time and Gaara allowed himself to relax just the tiniest bit. 'How about some coffee?'

* * *

None of them had been to this town in years, but somehow they managed to find a small coffee shop not too far from the cemetery. It wasn't very big, the coffee wasn't very good, the waiters weren't very friendly and none of that mattered anyways. Kankuro was warming his hands at his cup of black coffee, though he wasn't exactly cold; he just didn't trust his hands with anything else right now. If he let go, he just knew he'd reach across the table and try something stupid, like poking the man sitting there to see if he was real. Judging from his earlier reaction to being touched, that really wouldn't be a great idea.

'I work as a paralegal in a law firm', Temari was saying, fiddling nervously with her glass of coke. 'We're pretty big in Amestown. That's where we live, Kankuro and me.' When there was no answer, she gulped down some coke and gave Kankuro a pleading look from the corner of her eyes.

Gaara was sitting with his chin resting on his folded hands, and he was watching them both with pale, bluish-green eyes framed by thick, black eyeliner. It was unsettling, to say the least, how he never seemed to blink and how those eyes were just so... There was nothing in them. Kankuro looked and looked, searching for some kind of emotion, but he might have as well been looking at a brick wall. It was very hard to uphold a decent conversation while being stared at like that. Plus, Gaara apparently didn't like talking.

Temari kicked him lightly under the table and Kankuro jumped, clearing his throat. 'Ah, yeah, Amestown. It's not very far from here, pretty small. I'm probably gonna move somewhere else soon, don't know where yet. I'm just not getting a lot of jobs there. I'm an actor, so... yeah.'

What the hell was he doing? This was Gaara – _Gaara!_ – sitting there, staring at him. His freaking dead brother! Shouldn't there be something better to talk about than his pseudo-career?

'I actually had a big part in a play last season. Critics liked it, but we didn't get that much of an audience, what with Amestown being culturally retarded.'

He gave a strained laugh and his customary wink, before taking a big mouthful of scolding hot coffee. The heat made his eyes water and he coughed a little, desperately trying to act like nothing was wrong. 'So, what do you do?'

There was a long pause during which Gaara continued his staring and Kankuro started sweating a little. Then, finally, the redhead was merciful enough to provide them with an actual answer, delivered in the low, unnervingly baritone and matter-of-fact voice that made shivers creep up and down Kankuro's back. 'I study economics at Konoha University. Second semester Master's degree.'

'Oh, that's cool', Temari piped in, eager to just say _anything_ and not let the conversation disappear into nothing. 'When do you finish?'

'Presumably this year.'

'Wow, already? That's, like, I mean, how old are you, er...'

'Twenty-three', Kankuro answered automatically. 'Twenty-four on January nineteenth.' He swallowed even more coffee as Gaara's eyes fixated on him. There was definitely sweat running down his back now.

For a second, Kankuro got angry. How could Temari not know their brother's birthday? But he immediately sobered up, remembering the therapy sessions he'd been forced to take many years back. Him and his sister just had very different coping mechanisms; while she preferred to pack all the painful memories away in a little box and never look at them, he would almost obsessively study them and try to relive the pain over and over again. That's why he still went to Gaara's grave twice a year, once on January nineteenth and once on April second, the day of his death. It's why he still had a freaking shrine at home, two candles and a picture of Gaara, right next to the picture of their mother.

He put down the cup, clanging with the saucer loudly, and ran both hands over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could almost feel Temari giving him a quizzical look. 'What's with you?', she asked, a little annoyed, but also clearly worried – because, he suspected, she knew exactly what was with him.

With a sigh, he looked up at his little brother, thinking for a second that he saw something like curiosity or bewilderment in his gaze. 'Well, I won't have to go to your grave anymore', he explained with a fake grin. 'That's a relief. Never liked that place.' The grin falling from his face, he shook his head, drinking in his brother's features. They were still so much like the picture, teal eyes, red hair, almost white skin. But he wasn't a child anymore. His face was slim, with sharper edges and a more defined jaw and nose, some worry lines showing on his forehead already. The hair was longer and didn't seem as fine and soft anymore, his eyes were still big, but not round and open and curious like they used to be. 'I just can't wrap my head around it', Kankuro said with a helpless shrug. 'You, being alive all this time... And you're a freaking grown-up now! What happened? Why did you never try to contact us?'

Gaara lowered his hands and grabbed his cup of green tea, softly rapping his fingernails against the ceramic. 'Father asked me not to.'

'That's all?' Kankuro shook his head again. 'I mean, I guess you had no opportunity at first, seeing as you were, you know... But, well, you obviously got out, and you chose to not even try?' Temari was glaring at him and he winced a little at how accusing he sounded. 'I don't mean it's your fault or anything. I just, I just really wanna know what happened, you know? How we got here.'

Gaara took a sip of tea, very slowly, and it seemed to Kankuro he was trying to buy himself some time. Could it be that this robot of a brother was just as confused and messed up as they were?

The tea was silently placed on the table again. Unusually long fingers gripped the edge of the table as if for balance. 'You stopped visiting', he said softly, looking out the window to their left. 'I assumed you abandoned me.' He turned back to them, his tone official and businesslike again. 'Father was willing to pay for my expenses as long as I never contacted any of you again. I had no income and needed to catch up on my A-levels to enter university, so his proposition seemed advantageous.'

Temari was staring at her empty glass intently, gripping it so hard that Kankuro expected it to break any minute. 'He staged a funeral!', she finally said in a trembling voice, shaking her head incredulously. 'He said... he said he didn't want us to see the body, it'd be too traumatic... that you'd died of a severe allergic reaction or something. He threw out all your s-stuff and, and – and there was a f-funeral!' Kankuro hurried to put his arm around her shoulders, softly stroking her arms and completely baffled at seeing his badass sister this close to tears. It was a strange day.

'The bastard got us good', he grumbled, patting his sister's shoulder and then leaning back with a deep sigh. Judging from Temari's current state, it was really time to change the topic. 'So, got any plans for the weekend?'

* * *

By the time they left the café, it was already getting dark. After the initial awkwardness and emotionality, Kankuro had somehow managed to steer the conversation to simpler topics. Gaara was currently driving them home, seeing as Amestown was on his way to Konoha anyway, and his siblings were still talking and bickering – much like Naruto's friends did when he drove them somewhere. He wasn't participating much, but he'd noticed in the coffee shop already that it made him feel somewhat at ease.

'Okay, we go to Temari's place first, so you gotta keep on the left now...'

'He can't go left here, he has to go straight until Evin's Square.'

'What, that's a giant detour!'

'It isn't, we have to cross Evin's Square to get to Waverstreet.'

'Well, of course, but if we don't go left now, we're on the wrong side.'

'What wrong side, it doesn't matter which side of Evin's we're on...'

'Okay, you've been living here for five years. How do you still have the sense of direction of a rock?'

'What was that?!' Temari sat up on the backseat and whacked Kankuro, who was driving shotgun, forcefully over the head. 'I'm not the one who gets lost searching for the toilet!'

'The theater's a big building, okay!', Kankuro cried defensively, rubbing his head. 'Many, many floors! And the rooms are all labeled wrong.'

'Sure.'

'They are! Shut up!' He spun around when Gaara suddenly turned right. 'Whoa, hey, where are you going?'

Wordlessly, Gaara pointed at the GPS. Kankuro and Temari both scooted forward and looked at the red route on the display for a moment. 'Hn.' Kankuro scratched his nose, a little embarrassed. 'I guess that _is_ better.'

Temari leaned back with crossed arms. 'Told you.'

'Wha– ?!' Angrily, Kankuro twisted in his seat again. 'You wanted us to go past Evin's Square! On the wrong side!'

They continued fighting all the way to Waverstreet, where Temari got out, and Kankuro kept complaining about her until they reached his apartment. There, he unfastened his seatbelt and looked at Gaara. 'So, see you on Saturday?'

'Yes', Gaara replied, feeling a little uneasy. His siblings had been hellbent on meeting again at the weekend and he hadn't been able to talk them out of it. Did that mean they'd want to meet even more often in the future? To what end?

Kankuro watched him uncertainly and then raised his hand, very slowly. It took all of Gaara's willpower not to flinch as it landed softly on his shoulder, squeezing a little. He told himself that this was alright, it was his brother, who so far had had ample opportunity to hurt him and hadn't done so. Still, he couldn't help but notice how big this hand was, how heavy and strong it felt, and how close it was to his throat. His whole body was tense and on alert.

After a few seconds, Kankuro retracted his hand, smiling warmly at him. 'Konoha's got a few theaters, right?', he asked abruptly while opening the door. 'Who knows?' With a wink and a wave, he closed the door and walked towards the house with his hands in his pockets.

Gaara watched him disappear, then set up the GPS for Konoha and started driving. His hands on the wheel were shaking.

* * *

Taking another pill had been a bad idea. He'd been on a little too much over this last week, but the funeral had taken enough time for the effect to start wearing off, even before he met his siblings. He couldn't drive with his whole body shaking uncontrollably, so he'd gone for his emergency stash under the car seat.

Unfortunately the overdose lead to him laboriously climbing up the stairs to the apartment, clutching his stomach and fighting back the urge to be sick all over the stairwell. The railing shook and creaked under his weight, his hair was sticking to his sweaty brow, obscuring his sight a little. Bile was rising in his throat and he kept swallowing hard, desperately loosening his tie.

As soon as he was inside, he let his keys and briefcase fall to the ground, shakily darting for the bathroom. He made it just in time, fell to his knees and violently threw up into the toilet. Panting and gagging he held onto the toilet seat, not sure if he'd be able to sit up otherwise.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his back. Gaara winced a little, but he couldn't exactly get away. 'It's alright', Naruto murmured, kneeling down next to him and gently moving his hand up and down his back. There was the sound of water running, before a wet cloth was pressed to his forehead. Gaara tried to look up but was forced to duck his head again as his mouth watered once more.

Naruto stayed with him for the entire ordeal, cleaning his face and stroking his back, until Gaara finally leaned back when there was nothing left to throw up anymore. He took the cloth from Naruto and wiped his mouth with trembling hands, breathing heavily and tilting his head back against the wall. There was no way he'd be able to get up anytime soon.

His roommate disappeared into the kitchen for a while, handing him a tall glass of something carbonated upon returning. 'Ginger ale', he explained without being asked and smiled at him. 'Helps me when I'm feeling sick.' With a strained sigh, he sat down next to him on the cold floor, watching Gaara take a few tentative sips of the sparkling beverage.

'Better?', he asked after he had finished the glass and handed it back to him. Gaara closed his eyes and answered with a low grunt, which made Naruto chuckle. 'I'll take that as a maybe.' He rolled the glass between his hands for a moment, before suddenly deciding to speak up again. 'You know, since I got you here and you can't run... There's just something I gotta say.' Putting the glass on the floor, he turned and faced Gaara, who returned the look with half-lidded eyes. 'Alright, so, I kinda get why you're mad at me. Maybe I shouldn't have told the guys about your dad, wasn't my place to do that and all. But you'd basically just collapsed on them! They were this close to calling an ambulance when you wouldn't wake up. I _had_ to tell them about the sleeping pills –'

How did Naruto know about his sleeping pills?

'– and that kind of lead to them asking what was bothering you, and so on... And, you know what, you never said I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, so there! They were worried and just wanted to help you, and you don't get to be angry about that! If you have to vent your frustration or something, that's fine with me, just don't act like it's my fault!' With a last huff, Naruto folded his arms and leaned back against the wall again.

Gaara forced his eyes open and sat up a little, fighting back the nausea circling in on him again. He suddenly felt a little scared, for Naruto never really got angry with him. 'Naruto?' He blamed the puking for his pathetically weak voice. 'Are you still my friend?'

Naruto stopped pouting immediately, let his arms fall to his side and looked at him with shiny blue, unbelieving eyes. 'What? 'Course I am! What do you take me for?'

Exhausted as he was, Gaara didn't have much control over his expression. He didn't know what he looked like, but something about his face prompted Naruto to hastily reach out and give him an awkward hug. Awkward, because they were still sitting on the floor next to each other and Gaara was frozen in place, not able or willing to turn his upper body or move his arms. Also, Naruto seemed to vividly remember his last attempt at hugging him, for he immediately jerked back when Gaara turned his head a bit. Laughing, Naruto brought some distance between them and scratched the back of his head, before clumsily grabbing the glass and getting to his feet. 'So, you feel up to walking? I just borrowed some cool DVDs from Kiba, we can watch 'em if you like.'

Gaara dazedly shook his head. 'I should stay here', he said, suppressing another gag reflex. Naruto nodded, brought him another ginger ale and then started rummaging around in the living room, talking loudly to him through the open door. 'Well, should've seen this coming I guess, _everyone_'s got the flu right now! But don't worry about passing it on to me, I'm like, super resilient, I never get sick. You really look like shit though, you should probably go see a doctor tomorrow.'

While he was talking, Gaara crawled up to the toilet and started heaving again, even though he wasn't sure _what_ his stomach was trying to get rid of anymore. He reached up to the sink when he was done, rinsed his mouth and cleaned his face.

Naruto came into his field of vision and to Gaara's surprise he was dragging the TV along, almost knocking it over a few times and getting his feet tangled in the wires. When he noticed Gaara watching his antics, he let his most radiant grin flare up in his direction. 'Gonna get boring in there otherwise.' Next he got all the couch cushions and threw them on the bathroom floor, followed by some blankets and water bottles. 'Okay, let's see... I have Die Hard, Inception, the old Star Wars movies, Dark Knight and Dark Knight Rises, Pulp Fiction... ugh, and Citizen Kane. I know you like that one, but it's so _old._ And _boring_. Bye-bye Kane.' He threw the DVD on the naked couch and held up the other ones. 'What are we watching?' Gaara tried his hardest to muster a decent glare – how was the greatest movie of all time _boring_? – but the attempt failed miserably due to him doubling over and throwing up again. 'Die Hard it is!'

During the opening credits, Naruto arranged the cushions on the floor until it was halfway comfortable and they could easily see the screen from the back wall of the bathroom. The tiled walls screwed up the sound a little, also the TV was a bit wider than the door frame and they couldn't see the entire picture, but as a distraction it was more than alright.

They had just popped in the third movie when Gaara finally felt like he was done puking and let himself fall into the cushions, relieved and tired. He turned his head to look up at Naruto, who immediately turned down the volume a little and watched him expectantly. 'I was at the funeral today.'

'Yeah, I know.' Naruto chuckled at Gaara's surprise. 'I could say I figured, seeing as you're wearing a black suit... But you said there was a death notice, so I kinda went through the newspapers.' He took a sip of water and shrugged when Gaara kept staring at him. 'I just wanted to know so I could be here when you came back. And good thing I was, am I right?'

'Hn.'

'You're welcome.'

Gaara ignored him and slid further down, until he was basically lying on the floor. He stared at the TV for a few minutes, knowing that Naruto's eyes were still trained on him. 'I met my siblings', he finally said.

'Oh. I didn't know you had any.'

'Temari and Kankuro. I hadn't seen them in sixteen years.'

Naruto's eyes widened almost comically. 'Seriously?' He shook his head in disbelief. 'Wow. That must've been weird.'

'It was at first. And in the end.'

'And in between?'

Gaara thoughtfully sat up a little so he could reach for the bottle of ginger ale. 'I'm not sure', he settled on, after drinking another glass. 'They want to come over on Saturday.'

'Okay. I can clear out if you want. Kiba or Shikamaru or Chouji will probably let me stay with them, or I could ask for some extra shifts, they always need more people on Saturdays...'

'Actually', Gaara mumbled, avoiding the blonde's eyes, 'I'd prefer it if you stayed.' He just knew Naruto was smiling at him after that, a somewhat proud expression in his eyes, like being confided in by Gaara was a huge accomplishment. Maybe it was. 'The others can come, too', Gaara continued, since he was already being disgustingly vulnerable. 'You can call them.'

Sighing, Naruto slid down the wall as well, crossed his legs and looked at Gaara with a smug smile. 'You know, you have a cellphone. And their numbers. So you call them.' Gaara glared at him, but Naruto just kept smiling. 'Don't worry, they'll come. They're your friends, you know.' He gave a giant yawn and looked at his watch. 'Can you make it to the bed, or do we need to spent the night in here? 'Cause I'm about ready to fall asleep.'

'I can make it', Gaara said with all the dignity he had left. He even managed to get to his feet without stumbling or being dizzy. As Naruto put away the cushions and bottles and tried pushing the TV back to the couch, Gaara went to his room, finally taking off his suit. When he fell into bed, he still wasn't quite sure whether or not going to the funeral had been a good thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Saturday**

Naruto was stocking the fridge with beer and soft drinks, carefully balancing bottles on top of each other. He'd bought a little more than their fridge could handle, but as if he was going to admit that; he'd just have to make it fit.

When he slowly closed the overloaded door and turned around, he saw Gaara sitting on the couch, flipping through his textbook on marketing strategies and watching him with scrutinizing eyes. Naruto crossed his arms. 'What? It fits!'

'It's not going to hold.'

'I know how to stock the fridge, okay? It'll hold.' He grabbed a few bags of chips and threw them next to Gaara on the couch. 'Put those in a bowl or something, I'll mop the kitchen.'

Now, Naruto was not one to care whether or not the floor was clean, and he certainly didn't see the necessity of tidying the whole apartment every time their friends were coming over. But he knew that Gaara cared about this stuff, having explained to him once that not forcing people to spend time in a dirty apartment was a sign of respect. Naruto still didn't really understand it, but he'd long since come to accept his roommate's somewhat germaphobic ways.

While clumsily waving the mop around the kitchen, Naruto sneaked another glance at Gaara, who was calmly placing the bowls on the coffee table. He'd appeared to be healthy the last few days, which was a little odd; Naruto had fully expected him to be bedridden for at least a week. Apparently, though, the redhead's bathroom party hadn't been caused by the flu, or even food poisoning, because he'd only eaten some of his usual cereal that day. He also most definitely hadn't been drunk, so Naruto had come to the conclusion that it had either been drugs or a bad combination of his many different pills. Gaara thought of drugs much the same way he did of booze, namely he never even touched the stuff, so that really only left one solution.

The thing was, they never discussed the bathroom cabinet – ever. Gaara knew that Naruto knew what was in there, but they didn't acknowledge it to each other. Maybe Naruto had missed his chance to ask about it when he'd first seen the multiple pill bottles; he'd been too uncertain about how to even approach a topic like that and had instantly settled on saying nothing. Today, Gaara had long since gotten used to Naruto saying nothing, so if he spoke up now, it'd probably throw the poor, socially challenged man for a giant loop.

For now, the more pressing issue was the siblings thing. Never had Naruto seen his roommate get this nervous, so nervous that he'd voluntarily invited all their friends over. Naruto had of course only heard Gaara's halves of the conversations, but obviously it'd been some very exceptional phone calls. He'd apparently stunned Sakura into speechlessness for a while, an accomplishment hitherto unheard of. But then she'd of course gotten overly exited, asking if she could bring some more friends along, which Gaara – inexperienced as he was with inviting people – hadn't known how to say no to. It would be crowded today, crowded partly with people Gaara didn't even know, and that just couldn't be a good thing. Naruto had told him that, if he wanted to, he could still blow the whole thing off, but it looked like Gaara actually preferred spending the night with a crowd of people over spending it with only his siblings. So yeah, he was really, _really_ nervous.

Naruto was putting the mop away when the doorbell rang and he happily unlocked the front door, seeing as Gaara had just disappeared into his room to change. The two people coming up the stairs were unfamiliar to him and they were walking slowly, checking the nameplates as they went. They also fit Gaara's admittedly short description of his siblings, so Naruto threw the door wide open and grinned at them. 'Temari and Kankuro, right? I'm Naruto!'

They both seemed a little confused, but shook his offered hand anyway. 'Nice to meet you?', Temari said with a doubtful expression and Naruto threw up his hands in exasperation. 'Aw man, he didn't even mention me?' He crossed his arms in a fake pout. 'Figures. I'm Gaara's roommate. Come on in!'

Still a little reluctant they followed his invitation, looking around the spacious, modernly furnished room that was kitchen and living room at the same time. If Naruto had had any say in it, it would be a lot more colourful, less heavy on the steel, glass, sharp edges and shiny black surfaces and everything. The only thing he'd been allowed to contribute was a giant, orange painting on the left wall between the bookshelves. Admittedly, the otherwise dark and clinical room made his awesome painting look even more awesome by contrast.

'I'll take your jackets', Naruto offered, suddenly inclined to actually be polite. They handed him their jackets with a mumbled 'Thanks' and for a second, he got really worried that they were just as taciturn as their younger brother; if so, this could turn out to be a really trying night. But then Kankuro looked down on him with a frozen wink and a half-smirk, hands in the pockets of his black hoodie. 'So, Naruto? You friends with Gaara?'

'Best friends!', Naruto replied proudly, even though people always told him how weird it was to be proud of that. Whatever. 'We met in freshmen year, like... wow, five years ago. And I've been his roommate for four, I think.'

The coat-rack was loaded with Gaara's and his winter coats and there was no hook left. From the corner of his eyes he saw Temari and Kankuro walking into the room a little, looking away from him, and he just messily folded their jackets and threw them on top of the others.

As he turned back to them with a smile, ready to offer them something to drink, Gaara came out of his room in a black button-down shirt and maroon jeans. Naruto felt his smile deepen a little; this was one of the redhead's favourite outfits and he usually went back to it when he was really insecure about a situation. It gave him some kind of comfort, Naruto guessed.

'Hello', Gaara said to his siblings, who had turned to face him and were greeting him with their very own brand of uncertain smiles.

'I like your apartment, really cool style', Temari complimented, waving one hand in the air. Kankuro snorted a little laugh. 'Yeah, her place actually looks exactly the same. Her lair, rather...'

'Want me to talk about _your_ apartment?', the blonde woman offered with a deceivingly sweet smile, and Kankuro hissed an embarrassed 'Shut up!' in her direction.

Naruto laughed, deciding he might like those two. He gave Gaara a quick side glance, but he was still standing there a little awkwardly, arms crossed and shoulders tense. Sighing, Naruto focused back on the guests. 'Hey, er... I'm really sorry for your loss', he suddenly said, remembering that they, too, had lost their father recently. They looked a tad surprised, then they both shrugged. 'Thanks. It's not like we were close or anything', Kankuro said, closing his right eye in that weird wink of his again. Temari nodded. 'We actually hadn't talked to him in years. But yeah, thank you.'

They were just about to enter an awkward silence when suddenly, there was a rumbling coming from the kitchen, followed by a loud crack and the clinking of glass. 'Oh no...!' Naruto hastily ran to the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator, yelping as two bottles rolled towards him and catching them just in time. Some glass shards were falling from the top compartment, beer dripping all over the other bottles.

'Were you guys planning a party or something?', Kankuro chuckled behind him. Cursing under his breath, Naruto quickly cleaned out most of the shards, wiped the bottles he'd caught relatively clean and looked over his shoulder. 'Something like that. You guys up for a beer?' He returned to them with three beers and one ice tea. Gaara looked at him blankly while taking the tea from him. 'You will clean that up.'

Naruto rolled his eyes. 'Yes, tomorrow. We have guests now!' Gaara just kept watching him, smugly rolling the glass in his hand, and Naruto gave an annoyed grunt. 'I know, you told me so. Now stop gloating!' His roommate just took a swig of his drink, clearly not planning to stop his gloating anytime soon. Naruto childishly stuck out his tongue at him and then held out his bottle to the others. While clinking their beers against each other, he couldn't help but notice the curious glances Temari and Kankuro were throwing his way.

Before he could waste too much thought on it, the doorbell rang again and he immediately bounded towards the door. Chattering, high pitched voices resounded from the stairwell, combined with the clicking of woman's shoes. 'That's the girls', Naruto announced happily. 'I told them to bring some more alcohol.'

'This really is a party, isn't it?', Temari realized.

'What? No! We're just, you know, having a little get-together! Chillin'. No party at all.'

'Hey, hey! Ready to party!', Sakura cheered, jumping inside at that very moment. A tall, blond girl followed right behind her and let out a screeching whoop, complete with fist pump and everything. Great first impression, Naruto thought, covertly rubbing his ears. Sakura slung an arm around the blond girl's shoulders.'This is Ino –'

'Hi everyone!', Ino yelled.

'– and that's Hinata.'

'Nice to meet you', said a small, dark haired girl quietly. Naruto hadn't even seen her standing there behind Sakura and Ino.

'Naruto, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro', Naruto quickly introduced everyone by pointing at each. 'Come in, put your stuff anywhere you want.'

Sakura and Ino dropped their jackets and purses on the ground and, after Naruto had warned them not to open the fridge, proceeded to carry their crate filled with various types of alcohol and mixed drinks to the balcony. They were talking and laughing along the way and Naruto couldn't help but be a little annoyed already. Granted, he also wasn't the quietest person on this planet, but at least he wasn't _this_ loud!

That Hinata girl on the other hand had barely moved from her spot by the door, where she was fiddling with the hem of her shirt, occasionally smiling shyly at one of them. Temari stood with her hands on her hips and – for some reason – regarded Naruto with a pretty accusing look. 'So, how many people are going to come, exactly?' Naruto scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. 'Errr, let me see... We're still waiting for Shikamaru, Kiba and Chouji, that makes ten with you guys and me and Gaara.'

'Shikamaru wanted to bring Neji and Lee', Sakura added helpfully. 'And Kiba's probably bringing Akamaru, that would be thirteen.'

'But Chouji said he might not make it', Naruto remembered, 'so we're back at twelve. That's not so many!'

Just as Temari seemed about ready to chew him out, the doorbell rang again. Shikamaru and Kiba arrived, introducing Neji, who was actually Hinata's cousin and looked a lot like her, only scarier, and Lee, a kind of nerdy guy in all green with a bowl cut. Since Shikamaru was always in charge of the food, they were all carrying giant bags of Chinese takeout and the next few minutes got really loud and confusing, as people were greeting and introducing each other and trying to figure out what was in which bag. Kiba's dog Akamaru was barking at everyone and energetically jumping around, only adding to the chaos. Naruto was right in the middle of everything of course, fighting with Kiba over the best food and asking the new people from where they knew his friends – until he noticed Gaara standing on the far edge of the crowd, hands holding tightly onto the kitchen counter. Not a good sign.

Naruto clapped his hands loudly. 'Okay, this is getting ridiculous!' He quickly took control of the food, just pushed random boxes in people's hands and then hustled most of the guests towards the sofa. With his other hand, he'd inconspicuously saved his and Gaara's orders, carrying them over now with two more boxes for Temari and Kankuro. 'Enjoy!'

Everyone was still a little confused about how the chaos had dissolved so quickly, but now that they had food, they didn't keep dwelling on it. Naruto sat next to Gaara at the kitchen island, Temari and Kankuro across from them, far enough from the sofa that the loud chatting didn't bother Gaara as much. The quiet between the four of them wasn't really noticed by the others, though Naruto found it a little frustrating.

'So...', he tried kicking off a conversation while gobbling up his fried noodles. 'What do you guys do?'

'Paralegal', Temari answered without looking up, and 'Actor', Kankuro followed suit. Naruto had to try really hard to keep up his smile. 'Cool, what movies are you in?'

'None, I work at the theater. You watch plays?' Kankuro looked over at Gaara while asking that, who was slowly and quietly eating his seafood.

'Ah, not really', Naruto answered. Kankuro seemed annoyed by this apparent interference, but Naruto knew there was no way Gaara would have answered; he'd assumed the question to be directed at Naruto only. 'Oh, but I read some Shakespeare stuff in school! Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth and another one, can't remember the title... You do plays like that?'

'He was Tybalt', Temari pondered nonchalantly. 'That's a Shakespeare one, right? Romeo and Juliet.'

'Really? I don't remember that guy. What kind of name is Tybalt anyway?'

'I'm surrounded by philistines...', Kankuro muttered into his food.

'Kankuro always plays the bad guys, because of his face.' Grinning widely, Temari poked Kankuro in the cheek and quickly withdrew her finger when her brother attempted to slap it away. 'It's a mean looking face.'

'For your information, the evil roles are the most fun to play', Kankuro growled, jabbing at Temari's arm with his chopsticks. 'So I'm glad I have a mean face.'

Gaara was watching Kankuro, his brow a little more furrowed than normally. 'You look like father', he suddenly observed, his low voice making the siblings jump a little and turn towards him in confusion. Naruto leaned back, curious if this might actually prompt the three to start a dialogue.

Kankuro took one more bite and chewed carefully. 'Yeah, well', he then said with a shrug. 'Gotta make the best of it.'

'You don't look _that _much like him', Temari told him in a voice that was supposed to sound casual, but had a clear hint of attempted comfort hidden in it. 'Your eyes are more like mother's. And your expressions are way different.' As if having to make up for being nice, she immediately took to a more teasing tone. 'You know, more stupid.'

'Ha ha', Kankuro intoned dryly. 'Did I mention you look really fat in that dress?'

'I look amazing and you know it.'

Naruto took a second to inspect her light gray, knitted dress that she wore with a red belt and black boots. It looked nice. He couldn't help but notice that she was really well-built, way more womanly than the kind of scrawny Sakura.

When he looked up again, Kankuro was regarding him with a devilish grin and nudged his sister with his elbow. 'I think blondie is checking you out.' Naruto dropped his chopsticks and brought his hands up defensively, heat spreading over his cheeks. 'What? No! I wouldn't... I swear, I wasn't! I was just, ah, looking at the dress. It's a really nice dress, is all.'

'Aw, you're cute', Temari said, arms crossed and eyes glinting with evil. 'Not my type, though. Sorry.'

'That's not... Of course not... I really wasn't...' How did he suddenly become the most ineloquent person at the table? Right now, even Gaara was doing better than him, and he was still not saying _any_thing! Naruto quickly decided to follow his lead, shut up and concentrated on his food. Temari and Kankuro were snickering and his face still felt warm, but he pretended to listen to the jumbled conversations sounding from the living room. As soon as he had devoured his meal, he jumped down from the stool with a hasty 'Gonna go over there now, bye' and fled to the others on the sofa.

Sakura and Ino were loudly gossiping about one of their professors, while Kiba and Neji had somehow gotten in a fight about which animal was more intelligent, dog or cat. That weird Lee guy was 'entertaining' Shikamaru and Hinata with a long and needlessly dramatic story about his favorite teacher, which Hinata seemed too shy and Shikamaru too lazy to interrupt. Naruto naturally joined the cats-or-dogs-discussion, vehemently defending Kiba's standpoint of dogs being way smarter.

At first, he felt a little guilty about leaving Gaara alone with his siblings – a situation the redhead had tried so hard to avoid – but when he glanced in their direction, he saw the three of them talking to each other. Well, Temari and Kankuro were talking, but Gaara was definitely paying attention and his brother and sister didn't seem to mind his silence that much. With a quiet feeling of triumph he leaned back again, thinking that this was a really good start. Upholding a conversation on one's own was one of the crucial abilities to be had when trying to befriend Gaara.

* * *

It had gotten a lot later than originally planned. One reason for that might have been Naruto's insistence that since he bought all that beer especially for them, nobody was allowed to leave until the supply was depleted.

'Come on, it's three in the morning, I have a test to study for', Sakura whined as Naruto replaced her empty bottle with a full one, even though she'd been trying to leave for the last hour. Ino let out an alcoholically enhanced laugh that was bound to wake up a few neighbors. 'What, psychology 101? You don't have to study for that, it's gonna be easy as pie!'

'Well, I actually plan to get something higher than a C, thank you very much', Sakura responded, surprisingly without slurring her words at all. Practically everyone else had become close to unintelligible hours ago.

Lee started giggling. 'Easy as pie', he repeated, looking around as if waiting for them to get the joke. For a moment it seemed like he wanted to elaborate, but his sudden laughing fit got in the way. Naruto couldn't help but join in, if only because the guy looked so ridiculous.

'You guys are soooo drunk', Shikamaru drawled, grinning from ear to ear.

'Why _do_ they say that?', Hinata asked, who sat cross-legged on the floor, busily peeling labels off of empty bottles. Luckily she had gotten a lot more talkative after finishing the vodka with Sakura and Ino. 'Easy as pie? How is pie easy?'

Kiba looked at her wide-eyed, as if she had just said the most fascinating thing in the world. 'Man, you're right! Pie isn't easy! I tried making a pie once. It's hard, it's really hard, this is so stupid! This is a stupid saying!'

'Maybe, maybe it's like, you know, a baker', Naruto started, not quite sure what kind of syntax he was going for. 'A professional baker, that's easy. Pie, that's easy if you're a baker.'

'That's like saying physics is easy if you're Stephen Hawking', Neji said, almost as creepily eloquent as Sakura, though he did speak a little more slowly than a few hours ago. Temari pointed at Kiba with a giant grin. 'How did you screw up pie?', she asked. 'Come on. Just follow... you know, just follow the recipe. I bet even Gaara could bake a pie.'

'GAARA!', Kankuro yelled, looking around for his brother, who was sitting right next to him and rubbing his ears. 'WHERE ARE... oh, there you are. Can you make pie?'

'I never tried.'

'YOU GOTTA TRY! GAARA, WE GOTTA MAKE A PIE! LIKE, RIGHT NOW!'

Naruto was lying on the floor laughing, along with Ino and Lee, while everyone else frantically tried to quiet Kankuro down. Apparently he became completely unable to use his indoor voice after the sixth beer.

'We don't have the ingredients for pie right now', Gaara mumbled, his fingers tapping out an irritated rhythm on his knees. Naruto snickered as he noticed that. 'You're pissing him off', he whispered loud and clear in Kankuro's direction. 'Pissed off... Gaara pissed off is _baaaad_. Headbutt!' Kankuro couldn't answer though, seeing as Temari was forcing him to drink a giant glass of water, spilling most of it all over him and the floor. Everyone who knew about the hug-incident started laughing again, Kiba and Shikamaru loudly talking over each other in their attempt to tell the others what had happened.

Somehow, Sakura managed to sneak away during all this and Naruto only noticed when she was already wearing her coat and gratefully accepting her handbag from Gaara, who had dug it out of the giant pile of bags and jackets on the floor. 'Traitor!', Naruto hissed in his direction, but he only received a very pointed look in response that he was too drunk to interpret. 'I really have to leave now, or I'll miss my night bus', Sakura explained with an apologetic smile, while giving goodbye-hugs to everyone except Gaara. And also Naruto, because he just couldn't be bothered to get off the floor; she ruffled his hair instead. Ino and Hinata suddenly realized they had to take the same bus as Sakura and hurriedly followed her example.

Just before they left, Naruto caught sight of Sakura holding on to Gaara's shoulder and quietly talking to him, which obviously made the redhead extremely uncomfortable. Then again, he realized through the haze in his head, the last few hours as a whole must have been really uncomfortable for him, what with all the drunk people in his living room. The thought suddenly sobered him up a little and he sat up, slightly ashamed that he had turned into a booze-up what was originally supposed to be a group of friends quietly supporting one of them.

It got a bit calmer with the girls gone. Naruto stopped handing out more alcohol and stuck to water instead, just as Kankuro and Temari, and they soon appeared just a little more sober. Kiba's dog had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor. It was about four in the morning when Neji finally dragged Lee towards the door, gracefully ignoring most of his loud protests. 'I don't care if you want to stay, I'm leaving', he explained with a stern face. 'And you're not walking home alone as inebriated as you are, so you're coming with.'

'I think that's our cue, too', Shikamaru said with a yawn and stretched slowly while Kiba went to wake up Akamaru.

'D'you know how creepy it is that you can still pronounce inebli... inebrate... See? Not normal!' Lee's slurred whining continued while he was being lead down the stairs. Gaara looked beyond relieved when the door closed behind Kiba and Shikamaru and a heavy silence settled over them as he sat back down on the couch.

Temari suppressed a yawn and tapped Kankuro on the knee. 'Maybe we should leave, too', she said quietly, casting a glance at Naruto, who was basically nodding off in his seat by now, and Gaara, who was staring straight ahead and drank his tea as if on autopilot.

Kankuro sat up with a whine and pouted at his sister. 'What? No, I'm staying! Can't you see I'm talking to my brother?' And he clumsily slung his arm over Gaara's shoulder.

Before Naruto could scream 'Danger!', Gaara's elbow forcefully connected with Kankuro's stomach while his other hand grabbed the arm from his shoulder and twisted it around. Kankuro was pushed to the floor face first, holding his stomach and catching his breath. Gaara immediately let him go again and scooted to the far end of the sofa.

'Shit', Temari mumbled and Naruto couldn't agree more. He bent down to look at Kankuro, who was slowly sitting up. 'You alright?' Kankuro ended up leaning against the sofa, both arms slung around his stomach. Surprisingly, he was still grinning. 'Ah, yeah', he managed to say after a few seconds, followed by a quiet laugh. 'Sorry, man. Should have learned my lesson the first time.'

'Yes', Gaara said coldly, looking at the wall to his right.

Naruto snorted with amusement. 'That's, yeah, that's so _you_', he giggled, pointing at Gaara. 'You met, like, what, few days ago? And you already... already assaulted him _twice_!' Temari and Kankuro started chuckling and a good portion of the tension vanished from Gaara's posture. He seemed to consider his options for a while, then slid off the couch and joined them on the floor, just a little closer than before. 'I apologize', he murmured and Kankuro waved his hand dismissively. 'Nah, 's alright. Kind of impressive, actually, that you can take down someone my size that easily.'

'You are very drunk', Gaara deadpanned.

'Hey!', Kankuro protested. 'That is...'

'...totally correct', Temari interrupted and Kankuro tried kicking her, but she smoothly slid out of the way and he just ended up spread out on the floor, head propped up against the sofa. 'Bitch', he commented dryly. 'Jerk-pie', Temari replied, and both Naruto and Kankuro did a double-take. 'What?!', Naruto shrieked, laughing uncontrollably again. Kankuro just looked stunned. 'What kind of insult was THAT?' Temari started laughing too, though her face appeared a little more reddish than before. 'I don't know, we were talking about pie before, so... I have no idea. Stop laughing at me!'

Just as their laughter started quieting down, Kankuro suddenly sat up and snapped his fingers. 'OH! Man, I totally forgot!' He scrambled to his feet, almost knocking over some open beer bottles on the coffee table when he practically jumped over it towards his backpack. Gaara watched him quizzically and Naruto raised an eyebrow at Temari, who, after a second, seemed to remember something as well. 'Right, we brought some stuff', she said, sitting up straighter and looking at Gaara. 'For you, that is.' - 'Yeah, it's, I mean, it's probably stupid...', Kankuro rambled, flopping down on the ground next to Gaara again, backpack on his knees and rummaging around in it. 'We just thought, you know, you probably don't have anything from, well, back then, like, childhood stuff, and maybe, you know, you'd like to have some reminders or something...'

Naruto watched closely how Gaara's face and posture became very guarded within seconds. Any emotion that might have been there before slipped from his face; he spread his fingers on his knees a little. Not exactly dangerous yet, but they were treading on thin ice here. Hoping to be inconspicuous, Naruto got up to fill his glass and sat down on Gaara's other side as he came back, silently offering his support for whatever was about to come.

Kankuro finally found what he was looking for, cast the backpack aside and held up a slim, black folder. 'It's just some photographs', he explained as he flipped it open, revealing a hand full of loose pictures. Naruto couldn't quite help the surge of curiosity that shot through him; he'd never seen any pictures of Gaara, neither from his childhood nor recent ones.

Temari slumped down on the couch behind them to get a better look, arms resting on Kankuro's shoulders as he picked up the first picture and gave it to Gaara with a grin. 'That's your, I think fifth birthday? Most of them don't have dates, but it's definitely your birthday, I remember getting you that teddy-bear.' Naruto leaned over and had to bite the inside of his cheek to not let out a very loud 'Awwww'. Mini-Gaara was proudly sitting at a table, clutching a teddy to his chest, a giant birthday cake in front of him – without candles or decoration, which he found a little weird. Naruto's birthday cakes had always had the candles, along with a thousand decorations and some version of 'Happy Birthday' written on it.

What he couldn't get over though was the fact how that little version of his best friend was smiling – _smiling!_ – from ear to ear, looking at the camera with big, round eyes that expressed more emotion in this single shot than Naruto had ever seen from him in five years. Less shocking than that, though still really very weird, was that he didn't seem to have a problem with how his siblings were both hugging him tightly, Kankuro going so far as to _ruffle his hair_ and Temari basically burying her nose in his cheek.

'That', Naruto said numbly, 'is so going on facebook.'

Gaara didn't even bother to glare at him for that. He was studying the photograph with the same intense curiosity a scientist might have when studying a new specimen. Slowly, he cocked his head a little to the side, squinting his eyes as if he was trying to read something written in tiny letters. Then he raised his hand and pointed at the teddy-bear in the picture. 'I remember that', he said, causing his siblings to smile at him warmly. Temari's hands were twitching a little, but she kept them where they were. 'Yeah, we thought you might. You loved that thing.' - 'We can give it to you, if you want. I definitely still have it somewhere.'

'Yeah _Gaara_, want your teddy back?', Naruto teased and was immediately rewarded with a fist to the head. 'Okay, okay, ow! Jeez, I find you very violent today, mister!' Gaara ignored him and instead motioned for Kankuro to give him the next picture. He almost seemed... eager now. This was turning out a lot better than Naruto had anticipated.

Almost every other photograph had Naruto shaking his head in disbelief. Whenever he'd thought about Gaara as a kid, he'd pictured him as the one standing off to the side, kicking other children's shins when they came too close and stomping on their sandcastles. The child in the pictures didn't exactly seem to have a lot of friends – mostly it was Temari and Kankuro playing with him – but he just looked _happy_. He was always smiling or grinning and seeming completely at ease with his siblings. There were pictures of him playing ball, for crying out loud. Gaara just didn't _do_ sports, except maybe when it came to protecting his personal space. Hand-to-hand combat counted as sports, right?

Gaara appeared to be just as fascinated as Naruto. 'I don't remember any of this', he admitted quietly while looking at a picture of the three of them at a lake, fishing-rods in hands, Temari proudly presenting a fish she'd apparently just caught. Temari shrugged, giving him the next picture. 'Well, you were pretty young. I don't remember all of it either.'

Gaara's shoulders hunched forward a little. Neither his tone of voice nor his expression betrayed anything, but he was upset. 'I should at least remember a little', he murmured, staring at the current photo of him sitting at a piano. 'I don't even know we had a piano.'

'Really? You played _a lot_ of piano.'

Kankuro snorted. 'Yeah, no. You just punched it a lot, and it happened to make sounds.' Temari tried to slap him, but he caught her hand and they both struggled for a while, before Temari got her hand free and let it sink back on his shoulder. Gaara put the piano-picture away and took the last photograph, lying wrong side up, out of Kankuro's folder, turning it around.

And he took pause. The picture showed Gaara, about six years old, teddy-bear tucked away under his arm. He was pressing a brush on a piece of paper in front of him, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration. There was more paint on his face, arms and clothes than on the paper. A young man with light hair and a kind face stood behind him, guiding his hand with the brush and apparently trying very hard to hide a laugh.

Naruto was tempted to make a quip concerning his friend's artistic talents, but stopped himself when he felt Gaara straightening up beside him, left hand gripping his knee and eyes never leaving the photograph. Something wasn't right.

'That's uncle Yashamaru', he said slowly.

'Right, you remember him?' Temari was still smiling. 'He would look after us when dad didn't have time.'

'So basically always', Kankuro grumbled. 'But he was pretty cool. You were his favorite though, I never stood a chance when he was around.'

Naruto moved a little closer to Gaara, who was taking slow, deliberate breaths now. He wanted to just take the picture away from him, but had a feeling such an action would end with him on the floor right now, probably with a bruise or two.

'What happened to him?', Gaara asked, his voice a tad deeper than usual, the knuckles of his hands turning white. 'Something happened to him.'

Temari and Kankuro looked up to him, a little confused, but not concerned. They didn't know the signs. 'I don't think so', Kankuro said pensively. 'I mean, he left at some point. I think he stopped working when mum died, to take care of us, and then he decided to go back when you started school.'

'He moved back to his hometown, but we didn't keep in touch. I mean, we still have a few relatives on mum's side of the family, but most of them we never even met. They don't really want anything to do with us, what with dad...'

They kept talking, but Gaara didn't listen. He was staring at the photograph, wide-eyed and even paler than normally, his breathing suddenly becoming erratic. With a silent curse, Naruto put a hand on his back, his own breath coming a little harder as he tried to remain calm. They really didn't need two people panicking right now.

Gaara jumped at the contact and let go of the picture as if he got burned. 'It's alright', Naruto tried, but Gaara twisted away from his touch, frantically getting to his feet and almost losing his balance. His siblings stared at him, finally realizing that something was horribly wrong. 'Hey... Gaara...', Kankuro started, getting up as well, but with a sharp intake of breath, Gaara stumbled away from him, eyes darting around the room desperately. With only five big, clumsy steps he rushed towards his room, door falling shut behind him. Naruto heard a key turn, then nothing.

* * *

It took all of Naruto's powers of persuasion to keep Temari and Kankuro from persistently knocking on Gaara's door and asking him to open it.

'He had a reason to flee', he explained as calmly as possible. 'He won't come back out today, not a chance.' He carefully grabbed them by the arms and dragged them away from the door. Finally he got them to sit back on the couch, though they still looked as if they had just been punched in the gut.

'Does he do that often?', Temari asked quietly, not even really looking at him. 'Because that looked like a... like a panic attack or something. That's just... not healthy.'

Naruto sighed heavily and pushed his fingers through his hair. 'He hasn't had one in a while', he answered, painfully aware of the fact that if Gaara hadn't immediately taken some sleeping pills, he could still hear him. The guy had stopped talking to him for telling his friends about the death of his father; he didn't want to imagine how he'd react to Naruto revealing his medical history to his siblings. 'Back when we first met he had them kind of regularly. You know, once every two weeks or so. Sometimes worse than just now, sometimes only minor ones. It got a lot better.'

He carefully eyed Temari's and Kankuro's pale faces. 'So... he didn't have that as a kid?'

'He had attacks, alright', Kankuro said, sounding completely numb. 'Just not panic attacks. Never saw that before. Never even got used to the other kind, he didn't... stick around for long after it started.'

Naruto stared at him, nervously fighting the urge to start biting his nails. 'So, what, um... what kind of attacks did he have?'

Kankuro didn't answer, just rubbed his eyes and leaned his head onto the backrest, brow furrowed and eyes closed. Temari crossed her legs and started tapping on her knee – Naruto almost had to laugh at that. 'He'd get violent', she started cautiously. 'I remember we went on a trip... Kankuro and me. Some school-thing. When we came back, he was different, wouldn't let anyone touch him anymore. And he'd just... start fights for no reason, attack you when you got too close. I mean, that wasn't just normal fighting between kids, he'd really, seriously hurt others. This one kid lost his eye. It was... bad, very bad.'

'Dad put him in a mental hospital, we visited a few times, that's the last we saw of him', Kankuro continued with a rough voice. 'I thought, you know, since he's out... I thought he'd be better.'

'He is!', Naruto cut in, feeling a little angry all of a sudden. 'Haven't you paid attention? He's not like that anymore, he has never been like that in all the time I've known him.'

'He attacked me. Twice!'

'Because you didn't stick to the rules! What, you think he goes around attacking people all the time? He doesn't. He fights back when he feels threatened, that's all.'

'Yeah, that's what they say about savage dogs as well.'

Before Naruto could control himself he was standing, hands balled to fists and ready to punch the living daylights out of Kankuro. He even heard himself growl. But just as Kankuro jumped up as well, Temari came between them, keeping them apart with her hands on their respective chests. 'Get a grip, okay?', she demanded, stern but tired. 'Use your words, seriously.'

Kankuro pushed her hand away and took a step back, his eyes never leaving Naruto's. 'What's your problem, blondie?', he snarled aggressively. If Temari hadn't been standing between them, Naruto would have leaped at his throat at that. 'My problem?! You just called your own _brother_ a _savage dog_!'

Kankuro frowned at him. 'Okay, look, that might have come out wrong –'

'There's no room for interpretation in that, assface! He's your _brother_, and he has enough problems without you waltzing in to tell him what a freak he is! If you can't get your head out of your ass and support him, then GET THE FUCK OUT OF HIS LIFE!'

With a huff, he sat down again, crossing his arms across his chest and ignoring the stunned silence that met his outburst. But, God, he really hoped Gaara was asleep.

'I didn't mean it like that', Kankuro finally said, sounding almost reluctant to speak at all. 'This is just... do you know how hard this is? Seeing him like... You saw the pictures, that's the brother I grew up with. To get him back like this, like he's... not _complete_ or something? I just need some time to process that.'

'He's fine', Naruto insisted with a slightly throaty voice. 'He's got issues, but he's fine, okay, he's a good person.' Swallowing hard, he made himself turn around and look at them. 'Just... don't get him all attached to you, if you don't plan on sticking around. That's all I'm saying.'

Silence swept over them again and Naruto turned to watching his own hands, curling and uncurling on his lap. He still had way too much alcohol in his system, he realized with a hint of embarrassment.

Temari and Kankuro quietly sat down again. 'You're a weirdo, blondie', Temari intoned dryly, earning a tired chuckle from Kankuro. Naruto leaned back and managed a smile. 'No idea what you mean', he replied with partly faked cheerfulness. But he really did feel a lot better, now that a lot of the tension had dissipated. Boy, how he hated tension.

Just as he was suppressing a yawn, Temari turned inquiring eyes towards him. 'So, what are the rules?'

He blinked at her for a moment. 'Huh?'

She rolled her eyes and Kankuro snickered. 'You said he got violent or whatever because we didn't obey the rules.'

'Oh, right. Those rules.' He thought about it for a moment. 'Ah, it's kind of hard to explain, I just know them all intuitively by now. For you guys, I guess you should stick to a strict no-touching-rule, at least until he knows you better. And don't, you know, hover. Or if you do, keep some distance between you, his personal bubble is a lot bigger than other people's, believe me. But it all kind of depends on his mood as well, sometimes it really helps him if you just stay close and don't say much.'

'How the hell are we supposed to know what mood he's in?', Kankuro asked with a hint of desperation. 'I don't – It doesn't make sense. How in the world do you _read_ him so well?'

Naruto was stumped for a moment, then thought back to the evening they'd just had. To the times when Temari or Kankuro had looked at him weird when he'd just said something to Gaara concerning his state of mind. Huh. 'I just know him, I guess', he shrugged. Then he got an idea and jumped to his feet, grinning widely. 'Wait a moment, I'll just get something!'

It took a while for him to find it – he hadn't had to use it in years. But after a few minutes of rummaging through his cupboards, he returned to the living room with a little red notebook, dusty and creased and with more than one coffee stain adorning its pages. 'I made this when I moved in here', he explained to his confused and mildly curious audience. 'Became a lot more important to know his moods, you know, when I'd be around him twenty-four seven.'

He leafed through a few pages, showing them a long chart entitled 'Gaara's tells'. 'It may not be one-hundred percent idiot-proof', he admitted, 'but most of the time, if you see one of these tells, it's a sign for a certain mood he's in. And!' He raised a finger and lowered his voice, because this discovery he was really seriously proud of, 'What most people do wrong when dealing with Gaara: They look at his eyes and face to determine his mood.' He slapped his knee and made a loud buzzer-noise. 'Wrong! You gotta look at his hands! Seriously, like, eighty percent of his emotions he expresses with his hands. The way he was tapping his knee during the pie-discussion: annoyed. The way he was holding onto the kitchen counter while we were fighting over food: nervous and uncomfortable. Rolling his glass in his hand when he was right about the fridge-capacity: smug. And so on.'

Temari and Kankuro were still staring at him, as if they expected him to be joking. Naruto winked at them. 'Look, I never said he wasn't complicated. Just learn it.' And he handed them the notebook with an air of solemnity. 'It's all in here.'

* * *

_**A/N: **First of all, thank you ** Auntie. Rune26 **for the nice review!__(The name is supposed to be without the space. But every time I save it like that, it deletes everything but the 26. Am I being stupid here?) _

_A few people do seem to like this story, so I'll try to update more regularly :) Unfortunately, it's kind of hard to get the just-for-fun-writing done when there is so much other writing to do... you know, the kind that I actually get a grade for-.- I'll also start my semester abroad next month, so there is a lot of stress piling up. Consider this a fair warning, it might be a while until the next chapter. At least this one is a little longer, that kinda makes up for the wait, right? ... Right?  
_

_If you find mistakes or other flaws, or if you just have some useful tips or ideas where this story could go (though I do have a general idea, there is room for improvisation), feel free to let me know :)_


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